I’ve been healing my relationship with technology for years. However, in recent months, I’ve become increasingly aware of just how much my co-dependency on technology has disrupted my daily meditation, self-care and movement practices. How much my habits were leaking valuable energy and vitality, holding me back from reaching my greatest potential.
I would wake up groggy in the morning, brain still confused and hung-over about all the media I consumed the previous night, before passing out from exhaustion. I would sit at the edge of my bed, until my mind calmed enough to focus in meditation. Or, I would feel the chronic stiffness in my hips, low-back and shoulders from prolonged sitting when I showed up for my Flexibility Training sessions. The tightness in my body held me back from my much-desired front splits and pain-free movement. I would feel my energy draining as I desperately sought emotional distraction through media and entertainment, when I felt too uncomfortable to find stillness, breathe, and listen to my body and her feelings.
With all of that said, I’ve come a long way. Many moons ago, I would wake up, place a laptop on my belly, and feel its heated rays permeate my womb as my device woke out of its sleep with me. I began each day with my eyes glued to a screen.
For years, I have had tech-free mornings, and I consciously unplug from my phone for meals, conversations, and anything that I know requires my full presence. My desks at home are all floor-based bamboo tables with yoga cushions, a work-station that is designed for me to be able to open my hips and engage my core in an ergonomic seated position while I am working. I used to set a Pomodoro timer to take a movement break every 20 minutes. Now consistently using those desks when it’s so easy to get sucked into a cozy bed is another thing!
And in case you didn’t know…
I’m that person who will gently ask my guests and loved ones if they can please remove their phone from the table for dinner, and if they ask why, I will politely explain that the vibration and energy of its presence-and potential for distraction-takes away from the ambience I’ve created and the intentionality of our meal-sharing.
It’s not a full-blown addiction–it’s a habit that slowly leaks and chips away at my energy. Having a poor relationship with technology is kind of like being a social drinker. Most of the time, I may be able to function, but when life is overwhelming, I can overdo it and wake up hungover, with lots of regrets. I still have a long way to go with how I respond to daily stressors. Sometimes, we only begin to make changes within our habits when we begin to feel the pain of how deeply they are holding us back from our heartfelt desires and greatest potential.
I discovered that despite knowing how “simple” it is to just get up from the computer and stretch every 20 minutes (a habit I’ve wanted to sustain for years), or meditate and do yoga for 20 minutes twice a day, once when I awaken, and once before I go to bed…the real reason why we don’t sustainably do these things is because of deeply ingrained habits that are connected to our emotional patterns, and our coping mechanisms around them. It wasn’t enough to “discipline” myself into doing things differently–my inner-child was clinging to the comforts of technology for a reason. I had to address that first, and provide healthy alternatives to those habits that didn’t serve me.
I knew that everything I wanted to do in this new phase of my life was going to require the highest quality of energy I had to offer, and I couldn’t afford to suck my beautiful time, energy and life force away through mindless behaviors. I wanted my lifestyle to be lived with integrity and in support of my vision for all that I am becoming. I am deeply connected to my purpose, and I know that half of being able to achieve my dreams is creating proper space for them to breathe, exist and grow within me. It’s having the space to tinker and spend time and pour into them. That means that I need to let go of the habits that were cluttering that space, and create new ones that gave me life.
What you see in my journalings are the beginnings of my revived process, in addressing what triggers my tech dependency, and envisioning a life without it as a starting point for creating healthy habits. In addition to setting boundaries with screen-time in my I-phone App, I’ve also created an awareness process that I can use in the moments where I’m finding myself mindlessly going back into my habits–to remind myself to pause, breathe, and ask my body what she needs.
I will definitely be sharing more on this aspect of my journey in the future as I feel inspired and called. I hope that these tidbits are helpful to others who may be experiencing similar things.
Thank yew for reading. If you enjoyed this writing and would like to see more, please feel free to follow @haus.of.isis on Instagram. ❤